I Don’t Want This Reincarnation

I stared blankly at my left hand for a while and then I heard a voice from the side.

“Good morning?”

“El?”

Then, noticing Elohim sitting next to the bed, I quickly lowered my left hand and raised my upper body. Elohim, who smiled as if he understood my shyness, asked tenderly.

“How is your feeling?”

“I’m fine.”

“I’m glad.”

“How much time has passed?”

It was bright outside the window. I slowly counted the time. It was around 2 p.m. when I received the book and started reading, so did I sleep for a day or so?

“It’s the morning of the third day.”

“Pardon?”

For a moment, I doubted my ears. It had been three days since I slept?

“Really?”

“You’ve overdone it, so it’s worth rest.”

“Umm…”

Man, I was extremely sleepy before going to sleep… I never thought I would have slept that long. Elohim, who handed me a glass of water that had been placed on the side table, opened his mouth.

“It was like you had a special dream.”

“Ah.”

I drank water and pondered for a moment, then nodded. He didn’t want to talk to me though. (발뺌하는 게 통할 상대가아니었다, I’m not really sure)

“Did you see it?”

“We see you all the time, but this time was special.”

Taking the empty glass back, Elohim smiled softly.

“It was originally my dream to enter.”

“…wait. Are you saying it wasn’t just a dream?”

I remembered Cheon Sa-yeon’s surprised expression when he saw me and the question about whether the prophet had sent me.

“Then Cheon Sa-yeon who call me also…”

“He will remember meeting you in his dream.”

A warm sensation surged through my throat and ears. I thought it was just a dream and let Cheon Sa-yeon hold hands.

I quickly covered the nape of my neck with my hands and lowered my gaze.

“I had no idea… at all.”

“It seems that your ability was activated unconsciously.”

Ability. He was referring to my ability to intervene, not Han Yi-gyeol’s wind ability.

Now I had a sense of what kind of power my ability had.

“I think you’ve slept longer because you used your ability.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No. This can happen. Cheon Sa-yeon, did you miss that child a lot?”

“Yes?”

This time, the cheeks and forehead were hot. I hastily shook my head.

“No, no! It’s not like that, but it seems to be because of Han Yi-gyeol’s past. Because there were so many things that had to do with Cheon Sa-yeon.”

“Hm. Okay?”

Fortunately, Elohim easily accepted it. If possible, I hope you never say such terrible things again. I was so shocked that my heart was still pounding.

“You must have been empty after waking up after a long sleep, so wash up and come to eat. Soup and salad are prepared to make it easier to eat.”

“Anything is fine. Thank you.”

Hearing Elohim’s words, I could feel my stomach rumbling. As I got out of bed to shower, I noticed that I was cleaner than I expected.

Obviously, I was sweating profusely before I passed out, so why am I so refreshed? No smell or anything. The clothes I was wearing were also different.

No way…

“El.”

“Ung?”

Elohim, who was about to leave the room, looked back at my call.

“Did you wash my body while I was sleeping?”

Otherwise, it wouldn’t have been this clean. When I asked the question, Elohim answered lightly with a bright face.

“No, I didn’t clean it.”

“Really?”

Surprised. Seeing me exhaling a sigh of relief, the Elohim continued.

“I just washed it for you.”

“Pardon?”

“Then get ready and come out.”

Elohim left the room without knowing what was the problem.

Click. With the sound of the door closing, my legs relaxed and sat on the bed, covering my face with both hands.

What should I do with this endless amount of embarrassment?

How many times have I been embarrassed since I woke up?

I sat for a long time, grumbling and embarrassed, then staggered into the bathroom. Han Yi-gyeol appeared in the mirror, not only his face but also his neck.

“Haa…”

Ha Tae-heon alone was enough, but now that I had been seen by Elohim as well. Even being washed.

Once again, my mind became complicated, but I unbuttoned my shirt, just to calm down and wash myself.

* * *

“It felt like Han Yi-gyeol’s past was quite long. Does it usually take that long to read one book?”

I asked while eating the soup Elohim had prepared and he looked at me with a glass bottle filled with drinks.

“That’s right. In terms of time, it took about six hours.”

Six hours. After emptying the soup, I rinsed my mouth with water.

“There is something I want to know.”

“Come to think of it, you said there was something you wanted to ask before going to sleep. Tell me.”

Even with Elohim’s gestures as if to speak comfortably, my lips didn’t open easily.

“Se-hyun-ah?”

“…to check the past.”

Gathering up my uneasy shaky resolve, I raised my voice a little more powerfully.

“How much does it cost to check the past of Cheon Sa-yeon?”

Elohim blinked a couple of times as if it was very unexpected. I know. Because I didn’t know that the day would come when I wanted to know Cheon Sa-yeon’s past. Still, I couldn’t help it. After reading Han Yi-gyeol’s book following the red book, I felt strongly that I should know Cheon Sa-yeon’s past.

“Did you never expect me to make such a request?”

“I did to some extent, but I wasn’t sure. Reading a book is very difficult… Cheon Sa-yeon, I didn’t know that you could have this much affection for that child.”

“I don’t have any affection.”

There was no other relationship as dry as Cheon Sa-yeon and I, what affection again.

After coughing once, I asked again.

“So how is it? Is it possible?”

“…do you really want to know? At any cost?”

“Well, of course, I don’t like life or anything like that. I will listen to it and accept it if it’s appropriate.”

I thought he would answer me right away without much thought, but surprisingly, Elohim kept a complicated face and spared no words.

“El?”

“I don’t think it’s such a simple matter.”

Elohim, who put the glass bottle he was holding down on the table, sat across from me and smiled bitterly.

“Cheon Sa-yeon is a child who is deeply connected with Kali more than anyone in the past, present, and future.”

“If you find out about Cheon Sa-yeon’s past, Se-hyun-ah, you will be like that, too. Aren’t you scared?”

Silence fell on the table. I gathered my thoughts for a moment and lifted my bowed head.

“You are testing me, El.”

This time, his eyes widened as if he was really surprised.

“Looking at Han Yi-gyeol’s past, I made some assumptions.”

“Assumptions.”

“It’s not great. To be honest, I’m not sure if my guess is correct.”

Because it wasn’t too realistic. But in a world where the dead man entered another’s body, people use their ability, and a man close to God prepared meals for me, I wondered what that meant more.

“Time keeps repeating itself from a certain point in this world.”

“It seems that there’s Cheon Sa-yeon that connects the centre of it.”

In the following words, Elohim now stared at me expressionlessly. I didn’t know because he was always smiling, but he had a pretty cold impression.

“Is that correct?”

“I can’t give you any answers.”

It was a soft refusal, but I was rather confident.

“If it’s correct that time rewinds backwards every time Cheon Sa-yeon has a problem…”

Having said that, I licked my dry lips once and pulled out the most important part.

“If I go back this time, what will happen to me then?”

Even though I made up my mind, my voice was trembling inevitably at the end.

“Didn’t El explain last time? It was a very slim chance that I came into Han Yi-gyeol’s body.”

“If the starting point is before I come to this world, a miracle like this one… I don’t think there is.”

Elohim, who looked at me quietly, sighed softly.

“I knew it, but you are really smart.”

It was as if he was praising a child who had finished all his homework by himself.

“Still, I hope you don’t misunderstand me. Se-hyun-ah, we don’t test you.”

“Yes?”

“I sincerely hope that you don’t get involved with them any further. But you’ve already crossed the line to some extent…”

Elohim’s voice, who spoke slowly and quietly, was weak as if it would disappear at any moment.

“Even if you turn a blind eye to everything and only see good things, they will also kill you.”

“I don’t want to disappear like that in vain.”

“I know.”

I could see the different colours in Elohim’s eyes, who blinked slowly. Gold always came into my view first, but now for some reason, I could feel the black eyes like the night sky more clearly.

“You are right, Se-hyun-ah. If that child, Cheon Sa-yeon fails again this time… you will disappear just like that.”

“In order to live anyway, I have to help Cheon Sa-yeon.”

“That’s right.”

As if his mouth was dry, Elohim, who pulled the teacup on the table to the front, waved his hand once. Then, the empty glass was quickly filled with warm tea.

“Cheon Sa-yeon is the most important child in this world. You have to pay a price to see the past.”

“I’m determined.”

“Also, the child’s past is very long. There are dozens of books. It will take at least three months to see it all. So, you would need a book that condensed only the important parts, but it would take several days to see it all.”

“Um…”

“Think carefully. Even though Han Yi-gyeol’s past only took six hours, it was very difficult.”

“Isn’t it better for me to look at Cheon Sa-yeon’s past? That’s how much you get to know more about the situation.”

“There’s another way to pay a lighter price and just listen to me.”

Elohim seemed to want me to do so. I pondered for a moment, then finally shook my head.

“No. If you have to pay the price anyway, I will see and judge for myself.”

When I firmly refused, Elohim showed a somewhat gloomy look. I deliberately turned away from him and asked.

“If I pay the price, will I be able to know the story behind the red book I saw in the study or the story behind ‘Abyss’?”

“Yeah. I promised to tell you about those two things from the beginning, so I can tell you about them at no cost. Anyway, if you look at Cheon Sa-yeon’s past, you will know everything.”

After drinking all the tea from the teacup, Elohim smiled bitterly.

“It takes some time to sort out Cheon Sa-yeon’s past. Even with those two things I just said and the price you will pay, it would be good to talk about it when the arrangements are complete.”

“How long will it take?”

“Well. It’s our first time doing this kind of work, so we can’t know for sure. It may not be complete until you return to Korea.”

“Then…”

“If it takes that long, then we will have to go to Korea.”

I had cleared up my complicated mind. I never imagined it would take so long. How much information did it take that much time?

“That’s better. Se-hyun-ah, you have to be stronger than you are now if you want to endure Cheon Sa-yeon’s past. You shouldn’t be eaten by the book while dreaming and building up your strength as we’re organizing.”

“…I understand.”

It was meaningless to insist on an unavoidable problem.

It was unfortunate, but now was the time to step back and wait.